Why Am I Doing This to Myself?
I’m having luck letting go of my anger and ego, somewhat. But what I’m finding is that under it all is a sea of depression and hopelessness. Hopelessness has always been a main character of my story.
Category
God
The Season For War
I deeply believe this: A Time for Everything 1There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the heavens:2a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot
I Hate My Mother-in-law
Man. It feels so good to just say it. I HATE my mother-in-law. Just last night, I came to home after an amazing day hanging out with my unhoused friends. I was feeling so great. She met me on the porc
The Well of Sadness
Finding Light in the Depths of Loss and Displacement (This was written the day after the November 5, 2024 presidential election where Donald Trump won his second term as president. Many Democrats had
When the World Turns Away: Choosing to Stand in a Society that Won’t
A personal reflection on rage, humanity, and the cost of caring I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to overcome my rage. The world is just so wrong sometimes. Did I tell you that my friend Hurricane got
The Art of Staying Alive in a World That Makes No Sense
A personal journey through despair, anger, and meaning in the face of life’s absurdities I think about killing myself all the time. Albert Camus writes: “There is but one truly serious philosophical p
The Meaning of Life
I’ve come to believe that all of this is just a physical construct for a spiritual journey. A possible reality is that you are the only conscious being in the entire universe and everything and everyo
Men
I was speaking with a powerful/super-smart/highly-educated woman yesterday who said something along the lines that men are natural-born colonizing murderers and we need to figure out a way to help the
My sister-in-law
My sister-in-law lives in North Canton and works in Cleveland. She drives that every day and has done so for decades. She now stops off at least once a week to make dinner and visit with her mother-in
My Dark Side
My very enlightened friend, Holly White , likes to say that I look like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars when I wear my hood like this. She always says it with a small smile. There is no doubt, the Da
PRACTICING NON-JUDGMENT
I am now of the belief that this entire thing. This earth. This universe. It’s all a construct built for us each to individually practice becoming better. And better means finding understanding and co
My Christmas Eve Spiritual Conversion
I had a spiritual conversion on Christmas Eve night. I truly feel changed. And it was because of YOU. You and your outpouring of goodness and kindness. All of you that came to see me on Christmas Eve
The Terrible Gift of Addicts
Drug addicts, like all those who suffer, are the terrible gift. An addict gives you the gift of recognizing your own addictions. Of seeing yourself in the life of an opiate addict. To understand that
Learning True Compassion and Empathy
It is currently popular for white liberals to learn and repeat words of solidarity with black people and people of color. Meanwhile, their actions change very little. Our organizations are still lead
Why we are here
I am more and more convinced the energy of the universe has been channeled into our human form and consciousness to go on a mission. The mission is to alleviate suffering in others which ultimately al
Amber Evans Deserves To Be Remembered Here In Akron
Amber Evans deserves to be remembered for many reasons particularly with her connections to Akron, Summit County, Kent State and Ohio State. She killed herself because she was exhausted from The Fight
Life is contradiction.
The ultimate contradiction is that life is both creation and destruction.Poverty will always exist and that is why we must always work to destroy poverty.Corruption will always exist and that is why w
All Possible Paths Exist
If it is possible by the laws of physics, it has happened. All of it. This isn’t some woowoo mumbo jumbo. This is the theory of the multiverse. Anything I say after this point is belief and not scienc
What happens when we die?
The average 150 lb adult human body contains approximately 7×10tothe27 atoms and contains at least detectable traces of 60 chemical elements. About 29 of these elements are thought to play an active p
Get on the spectrum of voluntary poverty
We in America have been so indoctrinated into the cult of Capitalism that an alternative economic philosophy seems like pure and total madness. I am not a Communist. Not that I have anything against t
The Church Has Always Abandoned The Poor
“If religion has so neglected the needs of the poor and of the great mass of workers and permitted them to live in the most horrible destitution while comforting them with the solace of a promise of a
Peter Maurin
I believe that so many of our troubles can be traced back to the fact that our history, the people’s history, is stolen from us by the government. They write the history books. You need to know that t
The Alarm Sounded
When the alarm sounded and a pregnant 20 year old woman needed help… Did the Continuum Care help? Did Access Shelter for women help? Did the battered Women’s shelter help? Did the Haven of Rest Help?
WHAT IF
The Battered Women’s Shelter in Akron has an ENTIRE floor in their spiffy new building that has never been opened to shelter people. They own an entire apartment building that sits empty. They tore do
How To Properly Steal Food
Have you been reading these stories on how food stealing is on the rise? Here are a few: Stealing to survive: More Americans are shoplifting food as aid runs out in the pandemic | The Seattle Times Sh
WAKE UP!
This is an article written by an 8th grader. Raja writes: “To be a leader you do not need to be perfect, it does not matter where you are from, what your gender is. All that matters is that you act. R
Dorothy Day’s Baptism of Her Daughter, Tamar
My feelings of this moment in the biography, “Dorothy Day: Dissenting Voice of the American Century” by John Loughery, Blythe Randolph, were interesting enough to record. “The baptism of Tamar Teresa
The Dark Night Of The Soul.
THIS is something we need to discuss in greater detail. There is a profound understanding our houseless neighbors have of the power of the Irrational, of a total annihilation, of the darkest depressio
The Needle
I knew who threw this rig on the ground. I was angry at him. But I thought he broke the needle off so I was mixed emotionally about it. But I was wrong. I pulled the orange cap off and the needle was
Why do you care about people?
I’m growing to hate larger and larger swaths of people. People that are irate for having to wear a mask even though there is a good chance it would protect our elderly and sick from dying. People that
Sex Cults
Do you ever fantasize about running a sex cult? I used to think EVERYBODY wanted to be the things I’d imagine being: CIA Agent Art thief Drug dealer Homeless tent village operator It doesn’t take many
God According To Sage
Honestly, I wish I wasn’t writing this now. I have “more important” things to discuss with you than God right now. (Homelessness, Black Lives Matter and overall governmental and systemic torture and m
Do The Right Thing
Do the lessons of the world yell at you like they yell at me? I worked at Perkins restaurant washing dishes when I was 14. The manager said I was doing too much. I played the trombone. I played the ce
The Force Is In All of Us
I now believe that religion is nothing more than a tool. It is a tool to help guide your life. A religion is a tool that helps you connect ever so slightly with the “All”. I believe in nearly everythi
#22 – Be yourself no matter what ANYONE tells you.
Here it is in audio format: You watch it in video format here:
The Great Calling
I am repeatedly pulled in by Catholic thinkers. Thomas Merton Richard Rohr Dorothy Day And there are others that I haven’t gotten to yet simply because I’m so taken by these 3. Their connections with
The Lamb and The Tyger
The problem with me is that I take things seriously. I don’t read the history of a man like Akronite John Brown and just say, “Aw that’s nice.” No. “John Brown advocated the use of armed insurrection
Churches: Please have mercy on the homeless.
I’m at a point where I don’t know what else to do. I am certainly not quitting. But it feels like every single thing I do is inadequate and not enough. So I’m just going to beg and plead with you to P
I am a wuss
I am a wuss. I’m in Austin Texas for a symposium at the Community First Village. A sold out group of people from as far away as Australia converged here to discuss the truly revolutionary concepts of
America Hates Poor People
Murderers. Rapists. Pedophiles. Thieves. They all slept inside last night. They play board games. They watch tv. They eat every day. I know it’s prison and people hate being there. But at least, as a
My mom said no
I had a brief encounter with a young girl yesterday. She was probably 6 years old. She was everything you’d expect from a 6 year old. She started a conversation with me. She was smiley. She was curiou
“The Answer is Love” by Elon Musk
I don’t put a lot of weight in the incredibly nice things people say about me. I am just a regular guy who grew a conscience in his midlife. That’s all. But one trait I will agree with and feel, unfor
The 3 Stages of Faith
I can’t overstate how influential girls and women have been in my life. If I’m honest with myself, it was probably MaryBeth Glasgow that had as much influence over my abilities as a cellist as any tea
Of Course I Still Love You
I sometimes have to remind myself that there is a cherry red Tesla convertible hurdling RIGHT NOW into the distant asteroid belt of our solar system. It will likely fly through space for millions of y
A Fiduciary Responsibility
This week I got word that “the church” across the street from where we have our dumpster located wants us to move it. It’s not on their land. It’s across the street from them. But having to look at it
My “Big Heart”
I always cringe a little when people tell me I have a “big heart.” It’s something I hear fairly regularly. But it’s definitely not how I see myself. When they say it I imagine Forest Gump. A well mean
God who raises the dead
It’s hard to compete with the writings of a guy like Paul. Hell, it’s hard to compete with any of the great leaders of humanity. I feel like a tool when I compare my writings and thoughts to someone l
The Conundrum of the Drowning at the Rio Grande
I’ve gotten to hear two sermons recently. This Sunday and last. That’s novel for me, considering I haven’t listened to a sermon in many months. Our friend, Holly, took us to her church during our trip
We are all addicts
A friend of mine came to our homeless village recently. She said she was literally shaking after reading some of the things people said about the homeless and me. Humans that feel sheltered by the ano
Hate and Fear
I’m like a mini planet. I don’t want to overstate my importance. I am just a guy who stood up. That’s the only thing I ever did. But I have a small gravitational effect. People and energies come towar
God Showed Up At Starbucks On Friday
I had a whole post forming in my head about how God had abandoned me. It was what I was going to write about this weekend. I was bitter. I had this belief that God left me the day my sister died and o
Is Doing Good Things Insane?
The thing about it is: I don’t feel like a “good” human at all. I also don’t feel like a bad human. I’m just a human. But I do like to learn about other humans doing good things. It kind of helps me k
The Great Risk Of Becoming Yourself
I know a man who is unhappy. He feels, almost simultaneously, under utilized and inadequate. His job defines him. Yet his job is menial and pointless. He feels a great need to be the provider to his f
On being inadequate
My kid is currently learning about Harriet Tubman. This paragraph describes her succinctly but well: Harriet Tubman She was five feet two inches (157 centimeters) tall, born a slave, had a debilitatin
On being a good person
I saw this really interesting video on how Facebook and Twitter trigger us emotionally: It reminded me of how we are all paid off by drugs. We are all addicted to dopamine and opioids. Social Media Tr
Stop Praying. Start Walking.
I’m a BIG Taylor Swift fan. So Rocky got the family tickets to her sold out show in Cleveland this last summer at our football stadium. It was amazing! At the end of the show the crowd poured out onto
God, why have you forsaken me?
I feel like I’m moving through sludge. I plod through my task list like a dead robot. Call this person. Empty the trash Go to this meeting Empty more trash I keep hitting refresh on Reddit just hoping
Loss – January 5, 2019
I have a great deal on my mind today. Transition is like that. What we knew and could count on is gone. What is in front of us is uncertain. This space of transition is very uncomfortable for most peo
Benedict Joseph Labre – The Patron Saint Of The Homeless
It seems taboo to think about, much less discuss, any religion that is not our own. Protestants don’t read Thomas Merton. Catholics don’t read Rick Warren. Atheists refuse to explore any God-based rel
Mercy Versus The Law
What is Christmas? The birth of Jesus? A melding of pagan winter holidays? Gift giving? A holiday of lights and good cheer? Santa Claus? One thing is certain: billions of people celebrate it every yea
We Are Meant To Come Together
I have this uneasy feeling the universe is in trouble. Like serious trouble. There is this thing called the “Great Attractor.” It is a mass thousands of times more massive than the Milky Way, our tiny
God is not a crutch
I like to try to imagine the power of a black hole. A black hole is a region in space that has such strong gravitational pull that NOTHING can escape. Not particles. Not electromagnetic radiation. Not
Thinking more on the word ‘God’
Occasionally, people come up to me to talk about these posts. It’s really wonderful. I love talking about these topics. I had a person come up to me this week and talk with me briefly about my last po
Why we must come back to spirituality and magic.
I get so frustrated with God language. I know the instant I use the word “God” I am isolating people. I am turning people off and, therefore, not helping the world spiritually in the way I would like
Compassion. Kindness. Forgiveness.
Someone once gave our family tickets to a Cavs game. They’ve got these REALLY cool Jumbotrons above the floor. These massive, beautiful video displays cover the action on the floor. It’s super cool to
Losing Everything and Finding God
Early on, in our homeless tent community, we had very little. We didn’t have laundry. We didn’t have a shower. We didn’t have computers or a food pantry or a clothes room. We had nothing other than ou
I’m not worried any more.
A couple days ago I asked Rocky about a business idea to help pay for some family expenses. She asked concerned, “Are you worried about money?” For the first time in my life I responded, “I’m not worr
The Lesson of Desert
Have you ever been to the desert? You’ll know what I’m talking about, if you have. The desert is a place that makes no sense. The desert is random and chaotic. The desert is a place where you ask ques
You Don’t Need To Study Christianity To Know It
There are these universal experiences people have in certain spiritual moments. People talk about a white light in near death experiences. Users of a drug called “DMT” have reported encounters with “m
The Power Of Not Knowing
I’ve gotten real comfortable with my weaknesses. I can’t plan things. I am overwhelmed at the grocery store. I don’t appreciate nice things. I’m not getting any smarter. In the great words of Popeye:
Words
I have a hard time with the Bible, sometimes. I realize that’s heresy in the Protestant world. The key idea of the Protestant Reformation of 1517 was the belief that the Bible, not tradition, should b
Let’s Talk About God
I have debated broaching this topic for quite some time. God is a sensitive topic. Many people advise never talking about politics or religion. It’s true. That’s the safe bet. But it is also the fearf